In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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