Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
