Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
