I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
