i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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