There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
