Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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