Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
