How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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