so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
