When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
