she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
