so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
