Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
