if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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