I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
