i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
