I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
