i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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