You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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