if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my being single is dangerous.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
