For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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