Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jpizzle89 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

do you believe in love at first sight?

(1-513): View more from Ohio

awwwwww =)

(513): View more from Ohio

yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!

Fav 19 1483 4073
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...

Fav 15 3172 866
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport

Fav 40 4289 808
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me

Fav 19 9005 1686
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy

Fav 46 1410 5706
share tweet
(787): View more from Puerto Rico

1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while

Fav 17 1622 7571
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.

Fav 24 4934 1342
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum

(1-248): View more from Michigan

You pretty much did tho

Fav 1 1006 519
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(985): View more from Louisiana

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”

(985): View more from Louisiana

I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP

(318): View more from Louisiana

First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!

Fav 0 70 43
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT