Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
4 words: hood of his car
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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