Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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