He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
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