It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
