After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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