when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I booty called her while she was in labor.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
