Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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