I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize