dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I understand Curling. That high.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
