She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
