I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
