That's when you crack a 10am beer
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
