did you get engaged???
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
