We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
