a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
