Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We left an ass print on the piano.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
