i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
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KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
