I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
