Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
