the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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