I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
