is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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