my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
