the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
