I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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