no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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