did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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