You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
