Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
