R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
