Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
