Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
