You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize