Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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