Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I touched a dick in church today
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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