You really coming over, don't trick.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
