The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
