Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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