therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
