I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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